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Monday, 7 March 2016

OUT OF PLACE AND WANTING WARMTH


Sat down with my hair and makeup done, fully dressed with a cup of tea in hand, I watch as the day goes by; the sun comes out from it's shyness then is overwhelmed by the hefty charcoal clouds.

In the last two days alone there has been warm bright mornings to excite you for Spring, to huge snowfalls giving you hope for scenic views, the blistering winds as well as hail and rain have been dull enough to send you running back into your warm snug bed. The environment plays such a vast part in our emotions, our mood and desires, it's no surprise we want to escape endlessly, traveling to quaint towns, secret gardens, immersing ourselves into foreign culture. Yet still most of us want a place to call home ensuring some stability and familiarity.
I'm constantly wondering and imagining where I'd like to set off to and set up a home, in the tranquil English countryside, with views across the land, coast or lake? High hopes I know... Stretch myself with a petite, but homely flat in London, or risk it and go abroad to beloved Barcelona, the one place overseas I could see myself living, well that or Krak√≥w in Poland, a place already familiar and filled with my loved ones. I crave new surroundings, a fresh start, not in a dramatic sense but I'm now ready to leave my old life behind without fearing I'd regret it, it feels worn out and unsatisfying. All the amazing memories I'm eternally grateful for, don't seem enough to tie me here, we all have a certain moment when suddenly all we want to do is spread our wings, even if we may not fly. We'll find ourselves finding solace in the most surprising of places, learn new things you couldn't realise elsewhere, new people you'd never imagine you could know and grow close to.

feeling out of place in a place out of date is natural


You'll feel scared and uneasy not knowing where to go next, what to do, but you can choose to fear it or embrace it, make rough plans pack a bag and go, sign up for something new and actively participate in making the changes you feel you need. me? I don't do so good in the cold, drafty weather, I love England wholly, the tea, countryside, the history, everything that makes it itself, but I know I'd function better somewhere warmer. I think pretty much all of us feel that way, but I mean it for a lifestyle choice, not somewhere to slack off and sunbathe everyday. I'd like somewhere busy, where I'm surrounded by life and enthusiasm, where I can walk straight out my place and be greeted by the hustle and bustle. It'd wake me up like three cups of coffee, enough to encourage me to get shit done. I don't need a bunch of nightclubs to keep my night interesting, a quaint coffee shop, a rustic bar or late night theatre is enough for me. Slowly I'm tending to these changes, nothing happens in the flick of a wand, but I can already feel my spirits lifted, motivation more consistent and mornings happier, rather than dreading the day.

"if you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave."

- Mo Willems



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