post slider

Wednesday, 15 February 2017

LITTLE FAITH IN WONDERLAND







I've spent the last few days with veryyy little faith in myself. I always push on no matter what, whether it's a lack of motivation, inspiration - the lot, I'll always come out with something and usually even if it is a little forced, it's still good enough to post & share with you all. 

I really don't think I'm a perfectionist, unless I'm in total denial, I've never seen myself that way but lately things just don't seem to click for me. Nothing's right, whether it's the setting, the outfit, me! I don't know, I always get a sudden panic, am I loosing my touch? My branding? When I don't have someone behind the camera, like many others, I set up a tripod and fuss around with the focus and settings before it's good to go. I like doing this, it's productive and you're the one & only creative director behind the shoot, but I can't begin the tell you the frustrations that come from a unsuccessful photoshoot. But now I've started to despise shooting indoor, in my home. The plain walls, limited spacing, when you're using 50mm lenses, yes space becomes more of an issue than a complaint. You can spend a whole day shooting, with results you instantly then want to bin. The next day may not go so well either and then you start telling yourself it's never going to go right again. I'm not really that worried about whether others will love my content I publish, of course I want you all to like and enjoy it! But I also want to feel proud of it, to love my own content, without being stuck up, I can't sigh every time I open my blog - quality over quantity. 

I definitely feel the pressure of an Instagram theme, I know there's no rule saying you have to, but it does draw people in, it draws brands in. I've spent far too much time, crafting the 'perfect' layout, making sure the colours work, the shapes and so on, sometimes I actually do feel ridiculous afterwards, because of the time gone by. Stupidly enough I feel that sometimes affects the shoots I do, the outfits I style, I never thought I might be restricting myself, but maybe I am? 
I do love a carefully curated layout, I really do - perhaps that might stem from the fact I'd love to be an art curator and that's ok! When it's pleasing to the eye, flows 'effortlessly' (a completely ironic concept) it's enjoyable & fun. I want to try and let my 'branding' come naturally, forcing it too much might just tip me over the edge! So many people have said since they started posting what ever the hell they pleased, it was like a wave of a magic wand & it all just suddenly fit. It flowed. Less stress and hair pulled out. 

The reason I felt the need to ramble on about all this is simple, it's so common in the blogging world. To get down and be on the verge of giving up. It may seem like a dream job or career path, but you can still get yourself into such a state from it. Your self esteem can plummet, innocent scrolling can turn into dreaded comparison, leaving you questioning if you're doing things right, you build a lack of faith in your talents and not enough support can leave you feeling utterly alone as you try to make it.

In the last week I just feel I've lost my way a little bit and thought I'd share that, because if you have too, remember you're not the only one and you're not alone in feeling so. Things always go backwards sometimes, we all get stuck, & like anything in the world if we look back to when it went right, the good times - success & happy moments, you know they'll come again. 

with love, Kat
SHARE:

2 comments

  1. We all lose our way sometimes - I have done x10000 before! I think sometimes just getting it off your chest helps. It can clear your mind, make you take a deep breathe. Just remember you're doing fab, and there's no shame in taking a break to gather your thoughts a little! Xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is exactly what I did! & it really does help, stepping back just to breathe and clear your mind! Thanks honey, that really means a lot, right back at you!! xx

      Delete

Blogger Template Created by pipdig