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Friday, 15 June 2018

GROWTH

what i'm wearing

top from nasty gal & topshop jeans


I don't like to look back on myself in the early teen years, not just because of how I looked, but upon looking at old photos, the dreaded feeling of confusion and how lost I felt like many others, resurfaces as I gaze upon these 'memories'. I feel like I switched into so many different stereotypes and personalities, none of which I connected to, but that constant age old need to fit in, haunted me daily. Even now I scoff at my former self, questioning why I couldn't just 'be myself', or why didn't I wear less makeup, I didn't want to anyway; this is ridiculous, we all know we're hardly going to find ourselves at 16, we're supposed to experiment and fuck up, to wear blue eyeshadow, over pluck our brows (yes I did both, the eyebrows were tragic); it's a time we'll never have had figured out and still won't in our twenties.

I give myself a hard time, feeling like I'm not doing enough, rather than giving myself credit for who I'm growing to be and grown into already. I'm more kind and sympathetic, I'm stronger than what people see, unapologetically goofy and happy with where I'm going and picture my life being. I need to let go of the messy years that make me cringe, because if anything they have contributed to the person I am now, the route taken and all that now matters anyway, is now.

with love, Kat
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1 comment

  1. I need to let go of the past too - I find it so difficult to! But I need to look at where I am now and how amazing the comparison is! As do you! xxx

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