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It wasn't a haircut I'd ever choose for myself, but after losing all of my hair through treatment, it's naturally the first style you'll have. There's no doubt that my long locks were my security blanket, wrapped around my shoulders, always long and thick - a huge part of my identity. I hadn't been without such facade since I was a baby.
Our hair is quite literally the first thing others notice, it's a key visual marker of how we present ourselves to the world. Long hair has traditionally been seen as a symbol of femininity, softness, and beauty. So cutting it short has often been viewed as bold, rebellious, or even radical — a statement of breaking away from societal expectations. But in today’s world, that narrative is evolving. More and more, women are embracing short hair not as rebellion, but simply as an authentic expression of self. Beauty and femininity aren’t defined by length anymore — and there’s power in knowing you can look and feel just as yourself with a pixie as with waist-length waves. But for me, a pixie cut didn’t feel freeing — it felt like I’d lost a part of myself. I missed the softness, the way my hair framed my face, the small rituals like tucking it behind my ears or tying it back. It was like I'd cut off more than just inches
— I’d cut off a layer of familiarity.
In the absence of my hair and feeling so exposed, it's forced me to re-evaluate where my sense of self came from. It made me question how much of my appearance was really for me, and how much was shaped by how I wanted to be seen. Where did self-expression end and social expectation begin?
What’s changed most isn’t just how I look, but how I feel. Without the distraction of hair to frame or soften me, I’ve started to focus more on how I show up. Smiling more, carrying a lighter energy, taking care of my skin so I feel fresh and comfortable in my own skin — these little things have grounded me more than a hairstyle ever could. I’ve realised I don’t need to control how others perceive this change. It doesn’t affect my life unless I let it — and I’m choosing not to. Because feeling like myself comes from within now, and that’s something no mirror, no comment, no fleeting doubt can take away.
Look, of course I’m looking forward to my hair growing back. I actually adored my short bob — when we trimmed off my long hair in preparation for treatment, it felt fresh, different, and oddly more me than my long hair had in a while. The pixie cut? It’s a little too short for my taste, but there’s nothing wrong with it — just my own perception of myself.
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