what i'm wearing

short camel coat from zara, vintage jaeger black blazer, max mara trousers, primark belt and vintage bag from charity shop.

I've been quiet, on here at least, putting my little slice of the internet behind closed doors for a few months. It wasn't a dramatic, overly heartfelt decision, I simply lacked direction once again and as someone who strives to creating quality content, I didn't want to rush and create anything less. My head was clouded, inspiration lacking, doubt creeping in at every opportunity and with the end of year always being a stressful time no matter what, I decided eh, let's take a little break and take it easy. That never meant not bothering, or giving up - I continued to re-charge and really re-focus my attention on what I want to get up each day and be eager to produce. What would I put out there, if I hadn't spent all the time scrolling, comparing and hoping, what other content have I adored and felt frustrated at because I held back doing something similar.

Sigh, it's quite exhausting, a hard pill to swallow being held back by none other than yourself, feeling like you're so far behind when your foot is firmly on the brake. Of course we move swiftly at our own pace, hurdling through the boroughs of life, but even then we're always capable of more than we allow. These struggles for me have been back and forth; they come and go like a sunny day fiercely interrupted by disgruntled thick clouds, therein the frustration erupts slowly. You see, I know these brief unwelcome moments will come and continue you throughout life, I won't settle for it, I'll adapt, I'll accept the call for change, to grow and move on. I'll find a way to deal with it.

The biggest and perhaps only thing that has ever truly helped me, with change and motivation in particular, is my mindset. The power it holds is extensive, behold the worry of it being wired in the wrong way, negative thoughts, unhealthy attitudes and so on. In order to flourish, you need to be hydrated and somewhat nourished inside to move forward in a reflection of such an attitude.

So here I am, back in my little slice of pie, ready to stop holding back, taking a little more control and having little more faith. I don't think you're ever in complete know of how to tackle things, what we fully want and what's ahead, but for a little while at least we do, as I somewhat do now. I've come to know myself a little better, grown through all the personal crap weighing on my shoulders, analysed gently the routes and mantras that weren't for me. I'm better for it. I've cleared the leaves from my Winter path, making space for the much needed Spring. I'm back.

with love, Kat