what i'm wearing

old season Topshop camel coat, Hollister vintage look jeans, Jack Wills cross body bag and thick heeled black boots.

A few weeks into January and I flew back home to the south of Poland and it was a truly beautiful Winter wonderland. Family time was needed, having not seen them over the festive period and a change of scenery is forever welcome in my books. I'm now back and struggling to find inspiration in the cold, grey surroundings of England. It's this time of the year I despise, the days are still short, dark and cold, as is the mood of most of the country's residents. We're all dragging our arses out of bed each morning, reaching for a hot miraculous morning brew to revive us from the heavy nights sleep that's left us feeling sluggish.

I don't regret not jumping back into shooting the second the new year started, I was far too ill and if anything I'd felt a loss of direction regarding blogging. Comparison is a killer and truth be told I spend too much time measuring my own work against those with either completely different styles to my own or those who are a whole chapter ahead! It's ridiculous, I know, it's also my own fault - I degrade myself and my own creative process. I feel the pressure of rules in the blogosphere and the traditional way in which we're told to live our lives. So many rules where there needn't be, nastiness and belittlement. If there's a skill I am to master, it is fully not giving a single fuck and doing as I please; if I can do that, I can happily sip on my espresso too late in the morning, starting work later in the day, I can post content I am truly happy with, whether that be iPhone or professional DSLR shots, I can come and go as I please, however often, for whatever reason, I can focus more on writing some days than perfect outfit shots, as long as the quality and satisfaction is there, I can.

Over the years, far too many in fact, I've sought validation for even the smallest, unnecessary of things, I've always been incredibly independent but so severely unsure of myself. I've never been confident in my own decisions, I'd always need for someone to tell me it's the right one. I also have an unhealthy knack for wanting and needing to explain myself to those who get the wrong idea of me, what I do and the life I lead, it needs to stop. Those closest to me remind me it does and I'm grateful they do and I think I'm finally starting to listen and digest the honesty and change that needs to happen.

“Be brave enough to live the life of your dreams according to your vision and purpose instead of the expectations and opinions of others.” 

Roy T. BennettThe Light in the Heart

with love, Kat