It stemmed from a conversation with my best friend, has stuck with me ever since and I've found myself somewhat repetitively telling others the same;

you don't owe anybody anything. 

We can all shrug it off and say that we know, that we're not blind to our own self worth and rights, but there are so many little kinks in our day to day life that have become such normalities it's no surprise we wouldn't say hang on a minute... I don't owe that to you.

-what's expected of you-

A lot of us have people out there who have hopes and dreams for us, they're hopefully there along the sidelines spectating and supporting us, yet as things have progressed in society, it feels like there's mounting pressure, to please and succeed, then blindly forcing us to take undesired routes, all because we want to do it for them, like we owe them it. Again, we'd deny it, we're in control, we're doing it for us, all until someone asks the blunt question, why. Why are you doing it? Who for? My own, then realised, answers were all about acceptance or being done out of fear, however subtle. Even if it's not maliciously provoked, silently a lot of the time we're working ourselves into the ground over stresses that aren't all in our sole best interest but in those of others. Then there's the minor daily conveniences such as the divided opinion of replying to someone online, the constant need to be in touch and feeling guilty saying no or cancelling. No one is entitled to your time, nor should they use emotional blackmail to get some. For years I'd be weighed down by guilt if I was letting someone down, simply by cancelling or not being in touch instantly, but my mindset has switched when in fact I know I'm a good enough person, treating others right that they should respect that my time is my own, not theirs and I do not owe them it.

There is too much entitlement to go around, too much worrying of someone else's time and not our own; it can be exhausting keeping up with the demands of others, out of worry of disagreement and fallout. We do not owe it others to feel good, to be good, we do not owe our own time to anyone, it is our own, to which we use how we believe we should. Our time's our own.

with love, Kat